First you melt the butter.
I looked up at the table, 3 iphones are pointed at me like laser beams. It's not so much joy and anticipation, more like an "or else." "The Split" is a dessert at the new restaurant. It's bananas foster meets banana split. The goal as the server is to get the flame so high it becomes a safety hazard. People really get emotionally invested in this dessert. I've seen failed flambes that result in somberness that would make you think JFK got shot all over again. I happen to be good it.
Add the brown sugar.
It's amazing how in moments of self display one can retreat into ones own thoughts completely. I'm sure after I've made this dessert over 100 times I might change my mind, but I love the smell of the melting sugar in butter. As I wait for the bubble to begin, my thoughts wonder away from the flambe cart, it's Thursday, Andrew left for Seattle just hours ago. I think about what it's going to be like when I get home and he's not there. I hope we made the right decision.
Toss in the sliced bananas.
We last left off on this blog really when we arrived in Austin. Before we get to the part when Andrew got in the Honda and began the journey up North, we should probably go back to the beginning, the way beginning.
Sitting outside of a Dairy Queen in South Seattle going on three years ago, Ingrid and I decided that, it was time for a change. We started to discuss, cities that we could move to. The short list included, Chicago, St.Paul and Austin. Fast forward a bit, Ingrid applies for a masters program in Chicago and gets accepted. I visit Austin and decide that the sunshine and patriotism is exactly what I need. During this time I met Andrew. He was the Wednesday wine delivery. Though I had my sights on getting out of the city, Andrew was hard for me to overlook. We began chatting and soon found that we had many common interests. One being Austin. Andrew had been to Austin a couple of times and knew some people in town. Not long into our romance we decided we'd be moving together. It wasn't long before our little jar of money began to grow and we began laying the land for our big journey.
We both had 93420984 answers for why we were moving. I guess in hind sight the only really good one was that we wanted to. Okay, there's no need for me to be that down on it. Andrew and I both felt that we needed a change. Austin with its sunshine and youth seemed like just the place for a couple of lost 20 somethings to find themselves. We figured we'd come down here, take whatever jobs we could get and start to figure out our future.
Heat until the sugar is bubbling.
Well, somewhere on the journey between then and now, it would seem something unexpected happened.
The problem with my generation I think is that we all think that the answer to the future will make some great reveal at some point. It's not that we are talentless, have poor work ethics and are valueless, it's that, I think, we fear wasting some great potential. So, rather than trying and failing and following through, we expect that someday our calling will, well...call. Maybe that's why we all have a cell phone addiction. Jesus just might post the meaning of life on your facebook. I know that I have relied too heavily on the "it'll all be okays." Andrew has too. We have gotten by this far. We could get by for a long time to come.
Austin is full of twenty somethings. The forty year olds are twenty somethings. I met a group of grandfathers that were dedicating themselves to building a 200ft Willie Nelson statue. The plan is his belt buckle will be an observation deck, over looking South Congress. As they told me the details, they bumbled with the familiar enthusiasm of a bachelors holding dreamer, with too many connections connecting to probably, maybe, well, we may have to work out a few details. I could be wrong, Willie Nelson and Jesus may themselves be funding the project. My point is that being here has painted a pretty clear picture of what it is to be a "figure it out" hopeful, stopping and heading in so many directions that you've been running in place so long you've dug a ditch for yourself.
Take me for example:
I have my Bachelor's in Fine Art.
I started as a photographer but,
changed my focus to video and printmaking however,
now, I make art with whiskey, watercolor and wool,
I also am an amature artisan butcher,
who makes butter because,
I happen to be a good cook though,
I make my living as a waitress, who...
Add rum and flambe.
Somewhere along the way this became clear: I am closer to thirty than I am to twenty. I don't want to be twenty forever. Getting to spend two months side-by-side with Andrew made me realize that I want something more for us than the routine uncertainties and procrastinations of our generation.
So, after spending not long in the city and having seen what was readily available here, Andrew and I decided that what we need to build our future isn't in the Republic of Texas. Soon after this realization, Andrew was offered a new position at his former company in Seattle. Things quickly started to reveal themselves. We made the decision to try the long distance relationship, while we get our ducks aligned to take on the next phase of our lives.
Pour over ice cream, top with whipped cream and nuts. Serve.
And here we are, or rather I am, typing away in our two bedroom apartment enjoying the brief cool down. I'm getting okay at taking out the trash and waking up alone. Evey time I see his digitized face on skype and get his funny little text messages I know we are doing the right thing. For the first time ever, Andrew and I are focusing on how to get from point A to point future. Once again, I find myself dollar at a time, filling the money jar that is our life's savings.
Someday Andrew and I are going to have it all. Our hopes, dreams and aspirations combined with our love for each other is sure to cook up a success story.
