Much like Alice falling down that rabbit hole I have bumped and scraped by and down a windy shoot of unfortunates and unhappiness. It has been a while since I have picked up and no apologies, we all know how I feel about writing about why I haven't written. I am going to employ a little faith that the past will all reveal itself as needed and I will simply press forward.
This past Tuesday I found myself awkwardly and excitedly to the right of a very cool lady. Sonya Cote. In the small kitchen she runs on the East side of sixth street in Austin I tiptoed around in my non-Danskos and oversized pants.
I don't know what it is about dressing for the first day of a new gig that I just can't get down. I was pulling my pants up every five minutes to not only spare the crack attack but also save myself from any explanation of the cherry blossom branch that runs up and down the greater part of my back. To my surprise, I was not as sweaty as I feared I might be in the kitchen, here in Texas I seem to begin sweating just looking at the weather report on my iphone.
So here's the story: looking for a little meaning in my life I was perusing the class listing at the whole foods mecca on lamar. There it was, Charcuterie 101. Perfect, I thought. $65 and 3 hours later I would feel one step closer to being closer to figuring out how to be what it is i'm supposed to be. After scrambling to get my shift covered at my "real job" I was set, until two days before the class i got a call letting me know that it was cancelled. The woman who had to break the news to me didn't know what she was in for. I gasped and as tears welled up in my eyes I deperatly tried to negotiate the truth in her statement. "no, it can't be canceled, no really it can't be, but why, that's rediculous..." She offered to find me room in the lunchtime sushi class or pie making. She didn't get that what was hidden between the lines of my desperation was the very will to live, well at least in Austin, I wanted to say to her, "Lady, this is all i have." But, I came to my senses that the whole foods culinary center is not meant to be used as a crisis center for lost twenty somethings and that I better hang up the phone before I scare somebody.
I quickly posted the facts on my facebook. I wanted everyone to tell me that I should just come home. My sister did. I wanted more for someone to give me a million dollars and a crystal ball so that I knew what to do with it.
I know I can't go home yet. That's okay. I'm slowly starting to think of it as less of a punishment and maybe, stumbling, fumbling with that silver lining it is almost an opportunity. It was in one of these moments that I decided to track down the woman who was teaching the class. Sonya Cote. I found her email address through the magic of google. I tried to mask my desperation as I delicately confessed that I needed a little direction, and to my surprise she invited me to lunch.
Over a plate of sliced meats at Home Slice, we talked about food and the meaning of real food. I told her that someday I'm going to cure meats while Andrew guides out of towners through the wild of Montana. She invited me to dinner.
Even though I had to work, I knew I needed to do this. If for no other reason, I knew a little meat might normal me out. It has been a while since I've eaten the kind of food I love. It came out little by little. By the time I left for work I had eaten enough animals to fill a petting zoo. I was delirious with organ meat and accoutrement.
So, this week I sauteed for real and blended chicken livers with cream. I trimmed pork belly and rubbed them with curing salt. I also cleaned the walk in. I literally scrubbed spilled cream off the cold metal floor. It felt good.
A chance of a lifetime, maybe. But I will say this, butcher or not, I got to it finally. Something made my little soul tick to the beat of living.
I look forward to next Tuesday.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
The Split
First you melt the butter.
I looked up at the table, 3 iphones are pointed at me like laser beams. It's not so much joy and anticipation, more like an "or else." "The Split" is a dessert at the new restaurant. It's bananas foster meets banana split. The goal as the server is to get the flame so high it becomes a safety hazard. People really get emotionally invested in this dessert. I've seen failed flambes that result in somberness that would make you think JFK got shot all over again. I happen to be good it.
Add the brown sugar.
It's amazing how in moments of self display one can retreat into ones own thoughts completely. I'm sure after I've made this dessert over 100 times I might change my mind, but I love the smell of the melting sugar in butter. As I wait for the bubble to begin, my thoughts wonder away from the flambe cart, it's Thursday, Andrew left for Seattle just hours ago. I think about what it's going to be like when I get home and he's not there. I hope we made the right decision.
Toss in the sliced bananas.
We last left off on this blog really when we arrived in Austin. Before we get to the part when Andrew got in the Honda and began the journey up North, we should probably go back to the beginning, the way beginning.
Sitting outside of a Dairy Queen in South Seattle going on three years ago, Ingrid and I decided that, it was time for a change. We started to discuss, cities that we could move to. The short list included, Chicago, St.Paul and Austin. Fast forward a bit, Ingrid applies for a masters program in Chicago and gets accepted. I visit Austin and decide that the sunshine and patriotism is exactly what I need. During this time I met Andrew. He was the Wednesday wine delivery. Though I had my sights on getting out of the city, Andrew was hard for me to overlook. We began chatting and soon found that we had many common interests. One being Austin. Andrew had been to Austin a couple of times and knew some people in town. Not long into our romance we decided we'd be moving together. It wasn't long before our little jar of money began to grow and we began laying the land for our big journey.
We both had 93420984 answers for why we were moving. I guess in hind sight the only really good one was that we wanted to. Okay, there's no need for me to be that down on it. Andrew and I both felt that we needed a change. Austin with its sunshine and youth seemed like just the place for a couple of lost 20 somethings to find themselves. We figured we'd come down here, take whatever jobs we could get and start to figure out our future.
Heat until the sugar is bubbling.
Well, somewhere on the journey between then and now, it would seem something unexpected happened.
The problem with my generation I think is that we all think that the answer to the future will make some great reveal at some point. It's not that we are talentless, have poor work ethics and are valueless, it's that, I think, we fear wasting some great potential. So, rather than trying and failing and following through, we expect that someday our calling will, well...call. Maybe that's why we all have a cell phone addiction. Jesus just might post the meaning of life on your facebook. I know that I have relied too heavily on the "it'll all be okays." Andrew has too. We have gotten by this far. We could get by for a long time to come.
Austin is full of twenty somethings. The forty year olds are twenty somethings. I met a group of grandfathers that were dedicating themselves to building a 200ft Willie Nelson statue. The plan is his belt buckle will be an observation deck, over looking South Congress. As they told me the details, they bumbled with the familiar enthusiasm of a bachelors holding dreamer, with too many connections connecting to probably, maybe, well, we may have to work out a few details. I could be wrong, Willie Nelson and Jesus may themselves be funding the project. My point is that being here has painted a pretty clear picture of what it is to be a "figure it out" hopeful, stopping and heading in so many directions that you've been running in place so long you've dug a ditch for yourself.
Take me for example:
I have my Bachelor's in Fine Art.
I started as a photographer but,
changed my focus to video and printmaking however,
now, I make art with whiskey, watercolor and wool,
I also am an amature artisan butcher,
who makes butter because,
I happen to be a good cook though,
I make my living as a waitress, who...
Add rum and flambe.
Somewhere along the way this became clear: I am closer to thirty than I am to twenty. I don't want to be twenty forever. Getting to spend two months side-by-side with Andrew made me realize that I want something more for us than the routine uncertainties and procrastinations of our generation.
So, after spending not long in the city and having seen what was readily available here, Andrew and I decided that what we need to build our future isn't in the Republic of Texas. Soon after this realization, Andrew was offered a new position at his former company in Seattle. Things quickly started to reveal themselves. We made the decision to try the long distance relationship, while we get our ducks aligned to take on the next phase of our lives.
Pour over ice cream, top with whipped cream and nuts. Serve.
And here we are, or rather I am, typing away in our two bedroom apartment enjoying the brief cool down. I'm getting okay at taking out the trash and waking up alone. Evey time I see his digitized face on skype and get his funny little text messages I know we are doing the right thing. For the first time ever, Andrew and I are focusing on how to get from point A to point future. Once again, I find myself dollar at a time, filling the money jar that is our life's savings.
Someday Andrew and I are going to have it all. Our hopes, dreams and aspirations combined with our love for each other is sure to cook up a success story.
I looked up at the table, 3 iphones are pointed at me like laser beams. It's not so much joy and anticipation, more like an "or else." "The Split" is a dessert at the new restaurant. It's bananas foster meets banana split. The goal as the server is to get the flame so high it becomes a safety hazard. People really get emotionally invested in this dessert. I've seen failed flambes that result in somberness that would make you think JFK got shot all over again. I happen to be good it.
Add the brown sugar.
It's amazing how in moments of self display one can retreat into ones own thoughts completely. I'm sure after I've made this dessert over 100 times I might change my mind, but I love the smell of the melting sugar in butter. As I wait for the bubble to begin, my thoughts wonder away from the flambe cart, it's Thursday, Andrew left for Seattle just hours ago. I think about what it's going to be like when I get home and he's not there. I hope we made the right decision.
Toss in the sliced bananas.
We last left off on this blog really when we arrived in Austin. Before we get to the part when Andrew got in the Honda and began the journey up North, we should probably go back to the beginning, the way beginning.
Sitting outside of a Dairy Queen in South Seattle going on three years ago, Ingrid and I decided that, it was time for a change. We started to discuss, cities that we could move to. The short list included, Chicago, St.Paul and Austin. Fast forward a bit, Ingrid applies for a masters program in Chicago and gets accepted. I visit Austin and decide that the sunshine and patriotism is exactly what I need. During this time I met Andrew. He was the Wednesday wine delivery. Though I had my sights on getting out of the city, Andrew was hard for me to overlook. We began chatting and soon found that we had many common interests. One being Austin. Andrew had been to Austin a couple of times and knew some people in town. Not long into our romance we decided we'd be moving together. It wasn't long before our little jar of money began to grow and we began laying the land for our big journey.
We both had 93420984 answers for why we were moving. I guess in hind sight the only really good one was that we wanted to. Okay, there's no need for me to be that down on it. Andrew and I both felt that we needed a change. Austin with its sunshine and youth seemed like just the place for a couple of lost 20 somethings to find themselves. We figured we'd come down here, take whatever jobs we could get and start to figure out our future.
Heat until the sugar is bubbling.
Well, somewhere on the journey between then and now, it would seem something unexpected happened.
The problem with my generation I think is that we all think that the answer to the future will make some great reveal at some point. It's not that we are talentless, have poor work ethics and are valueless, it's that, I think, we fear wasting some great potential. So, rather than trying and failing and following through, we expect that someday our calling will, well...call. Maybe that's why we all have a cell phone addiction. Jesus just might post the meaning of life on your facebook. I know that I have relied too heavily on the "it'll all be okays." Andrew has too. We have gotten by this far. We could get by for a long time to come.
Austin is full of twenty somethings. The forty year olds are twenty somethings. I met a group of grandfathers that were dedicating themselves to building a 200ft Willie Nelson statue. The plan is his belt buckle will be an observation deck, over looking South Congress. As they told me the details, they bumbled with the familiar enthusiasm of a bachelors holding dreamer, with too many connections connecting to probably, maybe, well, we may have to work out a few details. I could be wrong, Willie Nelson and Jesus may themselves be funding the project. My point is that being here has painted a pretty clear picture of what it is to be a "figure it out" hopeful, stopping and heading in so many directions that you've been running in place so long you've dug a ditch for yourself.
Take me for example:
I have my Bachelor's in Fine Art.
I started as a photographer but,
changed my focus to video and printmaking however,
now, I make art with whiskey, watercolor and wool,
I also am an amature artisan butcher,
who makes butter because,
I happen to be a good cook though,
I make my living as a waitress, who...
Add rum and flambe.
Somewhere along the way this became clear: I am closer to thirty than I am to twenty. I don't want to be twenty forever. Getting to spend two months side-by-side with Andrew made me realize that I want something more for us than the routine uncertainties and procrastinations of our generation.
So, after spending not long in the city and having seen what was readily available here, Andrew and I decided that what we need to build our future isn't in the Republic of Texas. Soon after this realization, Andrew was offered a new position at his former company in Seattle. Things quickly started to reveal themselves. We made the decision to try the long distance relationship, while we get our ducks aligned to take on the next phase of our lives.
Pour over ice cream, top with whipped cream and nuts. Serve.
And here we are, or rather I am, typing away in our two bedroom apartment enjoying the brief cool down. I'm getting okay at taking out the trash and waking up alone. Evey time I see his digitized face on skype and get his funny little text messages I know we are doing the right thing. For the first time ever, Andrew and I are focusing on how to get from point A to point future. Once again, I find myself dollar at a time, filling the money jar that is our life's savings.
Someday Andrew and I are going to have it all. Our hopes, dreams and aspirations combined with our love for each other is sure to cook up a success story.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Where did you go ?
Hey everyone ! I figured it was way past time to update and tell you how life is going deep in the heart of Texass ! :)
We've been here a couple of weeks now ... Nicole has found a job, just seeing how well it works out! I figured she'd get a job quick, she has a powerhouse resume that any job would never in their right mind turn down! So now it's my turn ... and hopefully some prospects pan out. We are officially starting life now. It's consistently over 100 degrees here in this fine month of August. We are acclimating pretty well, purely by sweat equity!
Had the pleasure of a couple of old family visiting this week! Was so happy to reunite with the Metz clan ... its been about 15 years since Rog and I saw each other and it was so nice to see all them together again ! Kathryn is officially a doctor now. She came to defend her dissertation and sounded like it was a blast doing it!
We hope all is well with all of you! We are taking openings of all of you coming to visit so get those tickets reserved and get yo butt down here!
Give us a shout if you can!
We've been here a couple of weeks now ... Nicole has found a job, just seeing how well it works out! I figured she'd get a job quick, she has a powerhouse resume that any job would never in their right mind turn down! So now it's my turn ... and hopefully some prospects pan out. We are officially starting life now. It's consistently over 100 degrees here in this fine month of August. We are acclimating pretty well, purely by sweat equity!
Had the pleasure of a couple of old family visiting this week! Was so happy to reunite with the Metz clan ... its been about 15 years since Rog and I saw each other and it was so nice to see all them together again ! Kathryn is officially a doctor now. She came to defend her dissertation and sounded like it was a blast doing it!
We hope all is well with all of you! We are taking openings of all of you coming to visit so get those tickets reserved and get yo butt down here!
Give us a shout if you can!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Everything is bigger here ... crazy peoples!
Here we be ! In the fine city of Austin Texas ! We've made it to our final destination !
It's only been 2 days ... got signed up at our housing complex. Found out there isn't a workout room ... :*( sad ... but swimming, biking to zilker park, and plenty of establishments around to play and explore! It's gonna be a great time here, visitors are always welcomed, but give us a little time to round up some furniture. Our new place is huge by comparison: three huge rooms with two closets, two sinks, two people to use it all up.
We're excited! We can't move in until Saturday/Sunday but alas, we will make do. The job hunt is on. Got a lead for us? Nicole is busy applying for food and beverage licenses and I'm debating what I need to do ... per usual. Wish us luck! We'll be posting again soon I'm sure ... here's a little snapshot of our new territory. Time to start learning the streets .. and the lingo!
Check out the youtube channel for other videos ... will be uploading continuously through time and space ...
YouTubeMe
It's only been 2 days ... got signed up at our housing complex. Found out there isn't a workout room ... :*( sad ... but swimming, biking to zilker park, and plenty of establishments around to play and explore! It's gonna be a great time here, visitors are always welcomed, but give us a little time to round up some furniture. Our new place is huge by comparison: three huge rooms with two closets, two sinks, two people to use it all up.
We're excited! We can't move in until Saturday/Sunday but alas, we will make do. The job hunt is on. Got a lead for us? Nicole is busy applying for food and beverage licenses and I'm debating what I need to do ... per usual. Wish us luck! We'll be posting again soon I'm sure ... here's a little snapshot of our new territory. Time to start learning the streets .. and the lingo!
Check out the youtube channel for other videos ... will be uploading continuously through time and space ...
YouTubeMe
Monday, July 26, 2010
Mountain View Arrrr Kansas
Oh Arkansas ... what a beautiful place! Full of good people, good flea markets, and poisonous copperheads! Ahhh! It was such a great time visiting my old buddy ole pal Travis and his lady Miss Rachael Kay ... we toured the city of Mountain View and saw so many cool things. This place is labeled as the Folk Music Capital of the World! Crazy! But unexplainably its true!
A man by the name of Jimmy Driftwood was born very close to this lovely place in Timbo, AR. He wrote a song by the name of "The Battle of New Orleans." May of heard it eh? I sure do know that catchy tune! But really, it was a trip to go down to town square about 11 at night and see all the oldies hanging in their "drum" folk circles playing music into the early morning hours. It seemed as if you're over 50 there is a 90% chance you play music and are down in the square hanging with their homies, putting back some ice cream and cokes, and having a great time.
We ate some delicious grilled cat fish at Jo Jo's with some hush puppies on the side. MMMM, man I love food. No matter what it is you have to try it, cause you never know how much you're gonna like it! That's my philosophy! I had my staple country fried steak and it was danky as well. They have this cool all inclusive resort service to go fishing, rent cabins, and feed you till you roll down the road 20 feet to your housing unit. All that fishing can make a grown man hungry, and whadya know, there is some great food right there so you don't even have to sweat too much thinking or moving to get it!
The next day proved to be even more interesting. We met the local owner of Stone County Ironworks. They are a modern day blacksmith shop that makes some amazing stuff all with straight blood and sweat. They had some beautiful works that I wish I could own, but I have to wait a couple years when I am actually making money!
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All this happened just while sitting in the beautiful Turner Coffee Tree having a doppio with two tons of sugar in it ... least I can say is that I was pumped up!! Rachael has got a beautiful place there complete with some beautiful wood furniture made by her family. Purdy cool! Later that night we ventured to the local drive in to watch Despicable Me. Sitting out, no thunderstorms luckily, eating some Tommy's bbq rib pizza that, and watching a couple fire flies cruise by ... oh yeah, and the movie. One thing that was hard to believe, but was inevitably true, is that Stone County is a dry county. No booze! Ahhhh! I know I love a drink now and then but to live somewhere it doesn't exist (except by other measures) I say you're crazy! It's not really that bad but just weird ...
Our last full day was a trip to the Blanchard Springs Cave. One of the biggest living caves in the US it was pretty fun to go see some new caverns that were completely different then the Lewis and Clark caverns we saw just a couple of months ago. It had some big rooms where they sing christmas carols, do some valentines day stuff, and just have a good time in! I know all Trav and I wanted to do was put on some boom boom music and have a dance partay! Whooo whooop! The springs that carved the cave were located on a different level, but they were a rushing spring that was gushing over 7000 gallons of water a minute out of the mountain. That results in some seriously cool rooms that are carved relatively fast in Earth history time (aka only millions and millions of years).
It was so nice to see Travis and Rachael. They gave us a great place to stay, took us to some good eateries, and kept the poisonous snakes at bay. We made it to Rachael's parents house outside the city for some good beef burgers, baked beans, baked potatoes, and bean queso dip. Did I tell you I like food? Cause it's true! On our way to the cars they were pretty serious when they said that we should be aware of the copperheads that lurk in the yard late at night. Yikes! Dangerous ... very dangerous!
We're off on our final legs to Austin. The weather is keeping us from getting very far. Better safe than sorry. It will be nice to get into a place for real. We got many new adventures to go on in the future and we are still on one, but it's gonna be so great to see our new place! But not yet!
We've gone over 5600 miles. Whew. Car has held up, feel like I shouldn't drive it for weeks once we get there. Thankfully we've got some bikes waiting for us. Even though SOME people think not so fondly of them ... of all the nerve ... :)
quick clips
got a new video up from Minnesota ... the lovely lady holding the funny fish
-outside minneapolis
-the corn palace
-got caught in this damn storm after a lovely breakfast
-outside minneapolis
-the corn palace
-got caught in this damn storm after a lovely breakfast
Friday, July 23, 2010
The Jingle Jangle
The beautiful city of Branson, Missouri. What a crazy place that is in the middle of nothing. This entertainment capital of ole Mizzoura is a sight to see! Given that it is pretty much geared towards the oldies and non-partying type, we read a description of it as - Las Vegas, if Ned Flanders ran it. Amen to that!
Branson, as I know it, was first brought to my attention when I moved to Sheridan, MT. We were doing our 7th grade play or something of the sorts and it was a Christmas musical about something, its all pretty vague, except for the part where we sing ... "We're going to Branson! Miiisssouri !" So I figure we go check it out while we were travelling down, as it was on our wall and all. I'm sure glad we came to check it out! There are numerous famous attractions like Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede, Dick Clark's American Band Stand, the Hollywood wax museum, and on and on ...
One of our favorite sights was the Titanic hotel/theater. It had an almost life size boat with a big ole glacier next to it as the entrance. The feature show at this place was, "The Dogs of the Titanic", a show about the 10 dogs that were known to be on the Titanic on its maiden/last voyage across the deep blue sea. I bet it was a fantastic show that we wished we could waste money to see! But we're cheap now, as we are on the last legs of our trip. We found a hotel room for $30 a night and that's our entertainment ... cable television and microwave dinners!
There were so many odd ball attractions here, tons of miniature golf places, and our favorite ... good, cheap buffets! We managed to go to the Grand Country Buffet, which was $7 for all you can eat! If you plan it right (10:00 am) you can eat right into their lunch buffet which gives you even more options and pretty decent food! Right up our alley, even though it doesn't compare to the Bellagio's buffet but the price is right and the food is hot and filling!
As we weren't able to do much as way of attractions, Branson is a place where all the good people come to see a good show and spend some good money while doing it. They had plenty of cheap motels and buffets like Vegas, but no debauchery and people of the night lurking around. If you need a job, go to Branson. Everybody was hiring, and we figure if worse comes to worse we can just move there and have steady work forever!
Going to Arkansas next. Time to see an old friend and meet some new people! Apparently Mountain View, AR is the folk capital of the world! Can't wait to see it, and dink around in the Ozarks ... so until then ... keep it in perspective.
Branson, as I know it, was first brought to my attention when I moved to Sheridan, MT. We were doing our 7th grade play or something of the sorts and it was a Christmas musical about something, its all pretty vague, except for the part where we sing ... "We're going to Branson! Miiisssouri !" So I figure we go check it out while we were travelling down, as it was on our wall and all. I'm sure glad we came to check it out! There are numerous famous attractions like Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede, Dick Clark's American Band Stand, the Hollywood wax museum, and on and on ...
One of our favorite sights was the Titanic hotel/theater. It had an almost life size boat with a big ole glacier next to it as the entrance. The feature show at this place was, "The Dogs of the Titanic", a show about the 10 dogs that were known to be on the Titanic on its maiden/last voyage across the deep blue sea. I bet it was a fantastic show that we wished we could waste money to see! But we're cheap now, as we are on the last legs of our trip. We found a hotel room for $30 a night and that's our entertainment ... cable television and microwave dinners!
There were so many odd ball attractions here, tons of miniature golf places, and our favorite ... good, cheap buffets! We managed to go to the Grand Country Buffet, which was $7 for all you can eat! If you plan it right (10:00 am) you can eat right into their lunch buffet which gives you even more options and pretty decent food! Right up our alley, even though it doesn't compare to the Bellagio's buffet but the price is right and the food is hot and filling!
As we weren't able to do much as way of attractions, Branson is a place where all the good people come to see a good show and spend some good money while doing it. They had plenty of cheap motels and buffets like Vegas, but no debauchery and people of the night lurking around. If you need a job, go to Branson. Everybody was hiring, and we figure if worse comes to worse we can just move there and have steady work forever!
Going to Arkansas next. Time to see an old friend and meet some new people! Apparently Mountain View, AR is the folk capital of the world! Can't wait to see it, and dink around in the Ozarks ... so until then ... keep it in perspective.
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